When a Heart Breaks, It Don't Break Even
by Shelby95
Summary: When Sirius experienced his prime time, he made a mistake. This mistake led to the complete devastation and downfall of his entire life. The woman he loved, Laney, had now moved on due to his stupid mistake... and what could he possibly do now?


When a Heart Breaks, it Don't Break Even is based upon the Harry Potter series written by JK Rowling. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Bloomsbury Publishing, Arthur A. Levine Books, and Raincoast Books [Copyright©1995 to present].

The lyrics used are from the song "Breakeven (Falling to Pieces)" performed by The Script. These lyrics are property of ℗ 2008 Sony BMG Music Entertainment (UK) Limited [Copyright©2008 to present].

It was just past noon, and small children roamed the streets with their friends. Scooters lie abandoned on grassy lawns, and sprinklers ran, leaving a mist surrounding the houses within this suburban neighborhood. A mother walked out of her house, holding a beautiful baby boy within her arms. She held him with a vigilant velocity, and her bare feet treaded the burning concrete, causing her to shriek and jump onto her dew-covered lawn.

One house, however, stood with an eerie air surrounding it. The grass was still green; the sky was still blue. Yet this house had it's curtains closed, and there hung a peculiar silence that made it the house you would tell your foolish children to avoid. Inside this house, it wasn't much better.

A man sat on his cerise couch, reminiscing on fading memories. One hand held a glass of Burban, while the other delicately traced over the intricate patterns among the couch. Curling up and down the cushions, his fingers could feel every thread rumble from beneath his touch.

I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing.

His hand tightened around his glass as he remembered all of the intimate characteristics about her. It wasn't just the obvious marks: her long, luscious chestnut hair that spilled over her shoulders, her slender figure, her intoxicating, amethyst eyes, and even her flushed lips that appeared to constantly have a smile placed upon them. It was the innermost secrets that had kept their relationship thriving… it was the ability she had over him; that unique way she could place a hand over his shoulder and he could instantly feel calmer. The way her lips moved against his, and how her hands liked to wrap themselves around his neck, rubbing ever so slightly as she let herself be seized into a love she could barely comprehend. It was the way she could laugh at the littlest things, and how she appreciated a shade of blue the same way she appreciated the Mona Lisa. It was everything, that made him want to die.

I've got time while she's got freedom

He smashed his glass against the closest wall, and Burban dripped down the walls and soaked into the floor. He ran a ringer through his curly hair, and he couldn't help but wonder if he was simply dreaming. It was impossible to believe that a relationship that appeared – no, was truly perfect could fail.

"Dammit, Sirius! You just can't take anything in life seriously, can you? Why don't you recognize that this isn't a joke anymore! Another war is about to happen, and you're acting as if you don't have a care in the world." A beautiful brunette screamed at her long-term boyfriend as she scrubbed the black marks off her granite kitchen counter. Her eyes filled with tears, and she couldn't even remember how this fight had started.

"Right, Laney, because I don't act as if a war is happening. Of course I do! I am completely aware of that. You and the baby… you're all I think about! I'm doing this to try and protect you, and create a better life for our child. Why can't you recognize this?" Sirius stared at the figure of whom he loved, although he doubted his love more in that moment than he ever had before.

"Why can't I recognize that? No, Sirius. I recognize it. I recognize that you're going out and fighting a war that isn't yours to fight! We're starting a family, Sirius. You can't be doing this!" Laney tossed her sponge toward the sink, removing her gloves and placing her hands on her swollen belly.

"Lily is fine with James going out and fighting for what is right!"

"That's because Lily is fighting WITH him! Sirius, I'm a healer. I heal those people who are seriously injured within this war. That's gonna be you one day! And I don't want to have to tell my child that they don't have a dad because he wanted more to fight a bloody war than be alive for his child!" Laney realized that tears were rapidly streaming out, and she wanted nothing more than to go to bed.

"That's completely not the case." Sirius said, glaring at his girlfriend. She took a deep breath before responding.

"If you want to fight this war, that's your choice. But that means you leave. You can find another house; you can be involved in the baby's life. But I can't stay with you." Laney wiped the tears from her eyes, and waited quietly for Sirius to respond.

"I'll pack my stuff," He said, storming up the stairs of their house, leaving Laney to fall upon the floor, unable to stop the powerful waves of sobbing overcoming her.

He felt incredibly stupid. He now sat in a house on the other side of town, where all there were were children. He had chosen not to be completely involved in his child's life, he had chosen to fight a war he had no business fighting, and he had chosen to leave his one and only true love. He couldn't believe he had been so foolish.

Her best days will be some of my worst; she finally met a man that's gonna put her first.

It took every ounce of muscle power not to reach over to his phone and call the girl he missed so much. She had grown up in a muggle-loving family, and she loved technology, so it was only predicted that she would have a cell phone.

"I don't understand why you need a cell phone," Sirius criticized the walking beauty as they browsed quietly in a cell phone shop. Laney carried her posture surprisingly high – although she was slightly dragged down with the stomach bulge she now contained - and she smiled at Sirius.

"You wouldn't, now would you? Come on, I'll just order one online. Let's go home." Sirius nodded, taking her hand and guiding her out of the store to an abandoned alley where they could apparate.

When apparating back, Laney guided herself upstairs and sat on the bed. Sirius stood in the doorway, taking in her figure.

"What is it?" She questioned, cocking her head to the left.

"You're just so beautiful," She smiled widely, her eyes glowing.

"I love you, Sirius. Have I told you that?"

"Only a couple hundred times, but it never gets old." Sirius ran over to the bed, jumping on it and lying next to her, causing Laney to scream in surprise. She laughed, pushing him gently.

He wanted to call her so badly; he wanted to tell her how much he had messed up. He wanted to tell her how he missed her in his arms, and how he wanted his child to know his dad. He wanted her to know that he was ready to settle down, and the ring in his pocket proved it. Yet he had no business calling her. It had been months… his baby was born, he knew this from Lily. She had found a guy who would finally treat her right… and he was jealous. He raged of pure jealousy.

She's moved on while I'm still grieving

He knew what he wanted to do, so he grabbed his jacket, and apparated to the house that held so many delicate memories. As he walked up to the front porch, he could see the lights were on, and a woman's laughter filling the room. His heart began pounding; that laughter was too familiar for him to bear.

Taking a breath, Sirius pounded on the door, hearing the creak of a body removing themselves off the couch. As the door opened, his breath caught in his throat. The woman before him was more glowing than he remembered, and he was entranced. Her brown hair was curled and her eyes sparkled. She wore little makeup, and dressed in a casual, summer dress. She seemed surprised.

As she shut the door behind her, she spoke quietly, "Sirius, what are you doing here?"

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up, and you're okay?

The words he wanted to say so badly escaped his mind, and he fought to remember what he was doing in front of her. He recognized that she seemed put together, and his heart tore at the sight. He had expected her to be just as broken as he was… and as usual, he was wrong.

Sirius gained all his strength, and began piecing his thoughts together, "I made a mistake. I messed up. I should have realized that… you are my world. My child is my world. I need to focus on you two. I don't want anything else in this world, and I made a mistake. But I want to make it up. Laney… I miss you more than words can even describe. I just want you to be in my arms again. I'm willing to do anything you want. Take me back. Marry me. I'll give it all up. All of it. Just let me have you. You're all I want." He felt as if his speech was inadequate and rushed, but it was all he could seem to think of.

"Sirius," She began, but the cry of a child was heard in the background. She paused, and suddenly a tall, dark man opened the door and appeared from behind her.

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain. I took the suitcase; I take the blame.

"Laney," He spoke quietly, "Jacob wants you."

She turned her head, smiling graciously at the man, "Give me one second, babe. I'll be in in a moment."

The man surveyed Sirius, nodded, and kissed Laney softly amongst her lips, closing the door. An eerie silence lingered.

"You're too late," Laney told him, taking a step toward him and kissing him softly, yet passionately.

"I'll always love you," She whispered into his mouth as she broke away from him, entering her house, where she would continue to live her new life.

'Cause when a heart breaks, it don't break even.


End file.
